When my daughter was about three years old, I decided to teach her how to use a computer.
She was too small to see the screen comfortably, so I stacked some books on a chair for her to sit on. I placed her hand on the computer mouse and told her, “Move the mouse up.”
She did exactly what I said: She lifted the mouse straight up off the table.
Of course, I had meant, “Slide the mouse away from you so the pointer moves toward the top of the screen.” But that wasn’t what I said. I gave the instruction from my perspective, assuming she understood what “moving a mouse” meant in the context of using a computer.
She interpreted the instruction through her own experience. If someone tells you to move an object up, you lift it. Her response made perfect sense.
The Curse of Knowledge
Once we know something, it can be surprisingly difficult to remember what it was like not to know it. This is known as the curse of knowledge.
When we understand a subject deeply, we tend to make assumptions about what other people know. We skip steps, use terms that feel ordinary to us, and leave out background information because the connections seem obvious.
And they are obvious, to us.
This happens frequently with technical experts, project managers, and executives who work closely with complex information. They know the history behind a decision, understand the acronyms, and can see how all the pieces fit together. Then they communicate with someone who doesn’t share that same knowledge.
The result may be confusion, misunderstanding, or inaction. Meanwhile, the speaker wonders, “Why aren’t they getting it?”
Often, the problem isn’t the audience’s ability to understand. The problem is that the message was built from the speaker’s vantage point rather than the audience’s.
Clear to You Isn’t Necessarily Clear to Them
Imagine that you’re giving a project update to senior leaders.
You’ve been immersed in the project for months. You know why the timeline changed, which problems have already been solved, and what still needs attention. Your leaders may know very little of that history, and they may also be listening for something different from what you’re prepared to explain.
You want to tell them what happened. They want to know what it means.
You want to walk them through the process. They want to know whether the project is on track, what risks remain, and whether they need to make a decision.
Your explanation may be accurate, detailed, and well organized, yet still miss what your audience needs. Accuracy is important, but your message also needs to be accessible and relevant.
Step Outside Your Own Knowledge
You can’t completely forget what you know, but you can become more aware of the assumptions you’re making.
Before communicating, consider these questions:
- What does this audience already know?
- What might they not know?
- Which terms or connections could be unfamiliar?
- What matters most to them?
- What do I want them to understand, decide, or do?
Then look at your message from their perspective. Are you using acronyms without explaining them? Are you starting with details before establishing why those details matter? Have you left out an important step because it seems obvious to you?
One of the best ways to uncover the curse of knowledge is to test your message with someone who isn’t as close to the subject. Ask that person to explain what they heard in their own words.
Don’t settle for asking, “Does that make sense?” Most people will say yes, even when their understanding is incomplete. Instead, ask:
- “What is your main takeaway?”
- “What do you think happens next?”
- “What questions do you still have?”
Their answers will tell you far more than a polite nod.
Communication Begins With Their Perspective
When my daughter lifted that computer mouse off the table, she hadn’t failed to follow my instruction. I had failed to recognize that my meaning wasn’t as obvious as I thought it was.
That small moment captures a much larger communication challenge: We tend to speak from what we know rather than from what our audience needs to know.
The goal isn’t to include everything you know. It’s to make the most important idea easy for someone else to understand and act on.
Before you explain, instruct, or present, pause and consider the view from the other side. Because sometimes “move the mouse up” doesn’t mean what you think it means.
I recently discussed the curse of knowledge, along with other strategies for keeping stakeholders aligned, heard, and engaged, in my Masters of Communication interview with Authority Magazine.