You’re on a Zoom meeting or a phone call and someone doesn’t stop talking, making it hard to exit or to hear from others in a meeting. Below are 10 tips for taking control of a conversation and bringing it to a close in a professional and (mostly) graceful manner.
- Announce your hard stop near the start of the meeting. “I do have a hard stop at 10:30 for another meeting/project.”
- Interrupt when they pause to breathe. Eventually, they must take a breath. It will seem more polite if you don’t cut them off in mid-sentence. Just quickly interrupt when they pause for a breath.
- Use respectful language. Soften the interruption with polite language, such as, “Excuse me . . . I’m sorry for interrupting.”
- Make it about YOU, not them. You DON’T want to say, “Shut up! Just stop talking! Your incessant drivel makes you sound like an incompetent bore.” Instead, make it about you (or others), not them. “Excuse me, Kylee, I’ve got to . . . finish a big project . . . get on another call . . . take my kid to the doctor . . . etc.”
- Help them make their point. Some people aren’t just talking; they are thinking out loud, searching for a point. You can assist them by interrupting and asking questions. “Excuse me, Kylee, based on what you’ve said, what do you recommend?. . . what is the next step . . . are you saying (the point you think they are making)?”
- Appeal to inclusion/diversity. If there are more than two people in the meeting, and one has been talking for a very long time, interrupt that person to allow someone else to speak. “Excuse me, Kylee, we want to hear from some others as well. John, what do you think . . .?” Also, if there are more than two people in the meeting, it sounds less aggressive to use “we” instead of “I” when saying phrases such as, “We want to hear from others . . . we need to get a consensus . . . we want to encourage diverse opinions . . . we need to wrap up.”
- Have an agenda and set time limits. In a large meeting, send out an agenda in advance. You also can set time limits upfront, with everyone limited to 2 minutes at a time for discussion. If that seems too formal, then simply get everyone to agree to keep comments short. When someone goes too long, you can interrupt. “Excuse me, Kylee, we need to keep our comments short so that we can get through the agenda.”
- Get back to the topic. If the other person has veered off the topic, you can ask them to get back on topic or use the interruption to change direction. “Excuse me, Kylee, while that is an interesting idea, we need to get back to the main topic . . .” Or, “Kylee, that’s a great idea! Let’s put a pin in it and get back to the main topic.”
- Give a gentle warning that time is almost up. “Excuse me, Kylee, I’m going to have to go in just a couple of minutes.” Additionally, if you can give a reason, such as, “because I have another meeting,” that will help ease the almost inevitable abrupt ending. You can also add something about how much you enjoyed talking with them or appreciated their input. You might also confirm any follow-up conversation, email, or action, e.g., “I’ll email you the details later today.” Then after a couple of minutes, if they are still talking, interrupt them with a final few words and leave the meeting. “I’m so sorry, Kylee, I’ve got to jump on my next meeting, so I’m logging off now. Have a great rest of your day!” <leave meeting>
- Fake an emergency. When all else fails, and you can’t seem to end a conversation, you can always fake it. Drop something loudly, have a coughing fit, or, if your video is on, look wildly distracted, with a pained expression, and say, “I need to go.” <leave meeting>😊